“Love is but a beautiful war”…I made up that quote, but its quite true. I’ve just come from a long weekend spent with my boyfriend, this after we had just had one of our “I hate u” fights. We live in two different cities, and have been dating for three years. So every now and then, when over a month passes without being together…the internal rage and frustration of being in a long-distance relationship takes its course.
But while I was lying in his arms, after a night of drunken passion, I realized that we must really be out of our minds in love with each other to be able to have survived so much torture of being away from the person you love. As much as we have our fights…to the point where we both seriously feel like letting go and just living through the agony of heartbreak…we somehow manage to anchor ourselves, and opt for the highway instead. I guess the fact that we are each other’s best friend has quite a lot to do with the fact that we can’t stay mad at eachother for long…OH, TRUST ME I’VE TRIED!
I’d swear to myself that I wouldn’t talk to him no matter how much I dreaded it. a day would be too long…already I’m besides myself with insanity,.missing him, and wanting to share something funny I’d just seen or some random thoughts. To the point where, even if I’m still mad at him, the sound or his voice is like an anesthetic to my pain. The one thing that we truly value is our love for one another, our friendship, and the future that we both want and dream about…for us, and for our son.
So, yes…this thing called love is not a walk in the park. I’ve only been with my man for three years, I can’t imagine twenty years from now…but I do see us there.
There is no greater feeling than that of being loved by your man. That feeling comes from knowing that you are loved and appreciated, and from seeing it from the actions of your lover. Much to the disappointment of many feminist group, allowing yourself as a woman to be vulnerable to your man yields beautiful rewards.
Let us just take a brief moment of recollection, and remember the drive that Django had to find an rescue the love of his life, Broomhilda from an evil slave master. Now ladies, a man that truly loves you will travel to the ends of the earth to be with you. He will slain the mightiest of dragons in your honor. A man will do all that is in his power to protect the woman he loves. Now, what woman wouldn’t want that for herself?
For a long time, I’ve always thought of how much I love my man, and how much I want to give him the best of me wholeheartedly, that I never once thought of how much he feels about me. Every time I looked at him, a voice would inside my head would go “God I love this man”. But today, a different tune sounded in my ears and it was that same voice, only now saying ” God this man loves me”. I really believe that there is good in men, and not all of them are heartless dogs…they just need to be given a chance to express their love for their partners in the best way that they know how. Of course, I’m not advocating for banning of date-night, and not buying flowers or gifts for us. I do, however think that we should go easy on our boys and cut them some slack. Maybe instead of always wanting them to understand, we should try to understand them for a change. Men are built to care and provide, and to protect. That’s their way of fulfilling their role, and inorder for us women to feel and experience all these things that we want from them, we need to allow our men to be men.
Its always good to meat eachother halfway…but its even better to go the extra mile. I’m for love everlasting…and believe that it truly does exist.
I’ve been besides myself theses days at how built these boys are these days. Their arms are built, abs wripped…my God! Its like all throughout winter all men have been working out…well some of them. I tell you, skinny is so yesterday. Today, men are about taking care of themselves, and building muscles to make us ladies swoon.
So, keep at it boys! We girls love a bit of torso and biceps…and some Abs every now and then.
I just cannot get enough of my bambino. Every time I see his face, and hear his laughter…I still pinch myself in disbelief that this little soul belongs to me. His voice makes me forget all of the world and focus on him. My baby. My little monkey…
I think back on days when I would feel him kick inside of me. Hahaha…what a strange experience! I remember one day,.I was on a taxi home from work, hungry as hell. I bought a packet of bananas from the fruit lady. Not even a minute went past, then this little alien inside of me started dancing and kicking..I was convinced he could taste my food. I still am. I’d have umphokoqo, and within seconds the little monkey would start kickingand jerking inside my belly. Lmao!!!
The day he was born was both a nightmare, and a dream come to life. A nightmare cos it was freaking painful…not even I could describe it. The contractions were on some other level. Anaesthetics would only do so much. My body was just doing its own physiological shit…and all I could do was just to let it happen. I heard his cry, and dear God, tears came welling on my eyes. It was such an incredible experience. A dream come true, cos I could finally get to meet this little person that had been hibernating inside of me for months. His beautiful little face…his little cry (he almost sounded like a little puppy). From the day he first smiled at me, and cried at my dad’s frightening deep voice…to the sleepless nights of colic, to calm warm baths, I watched my little man come into his own. Now, we fight about all kinds of things…from him grabbing the spoon and wanting to feed himself, to grabbing the puppies by their ears and trying to figure out “what the hell are these things”. Or the pulling of cables and trying to figure out where all the people inside the tv come from.
When they say a child brings light and joy to the soul…its all true. Today, my heart melts at the sound of my child saying “mama”…at the sight of his beeming bright face. His smile. His laughter…and OH MY GOD, his naughtiness. I listen to him laugh, and I hear my own voice from his. I look at him smile, nd I see bits of my mom in him. My mom sees my dad in him. His father sees me in him, I see him in him.
I had always imagined having some bambinos of my own…even had names thought out and shit…but this has surpassed all of the things I had imagined. My child is incredible (ofcourse every proud mother feels that way)…and I could not have asked for a gift much greater than my little monkey.
I dnt even know what more to say…my heart is just melting with love. A love even I cannot describe.
To Hlumelo…my little monkey. MWA!!!
I’m not much of a soccer fan…if at all, but I must admit some of the games lately have caught my eye. This past weekend, I found myself glued to the screen watching Ghana, as they went up against Germany. Today, I was besides myself with excitement, as Nigeria took on the Messi-Argentinians.
I wonder…how come no African team has ever won the world cup? Unless I’m misinformed, it just seems like we never make it as far as the quarter or the semi-finals. I’m not even gonna get started on Bafana-Bafana…YAWN!
Anyhow, I just wanna take this moment to express my support for the “African Brodas”. Forget #BRINGBACKOURGIRLS… #BRINGBACKTHECUP!!!